Chapter: Chapter Pazaramalafatadanagabacasa
A comment on last post leads me to do a search on the Internet, frenzied and very, very worried.
make it rain on my monitor dozens of folders gossip, photos, rumors and assumptions, conspiracies and secrets revealed. An i-ching of web addresses fired at random. A series of responses to death by Google, says the Web
The answer is always the same. You do the short, so the sources can test yourself on any search engine or your favorite tabloid. Michael
Jackson's dying.
Some say that his vision has decreased by 95% in one eye. More that the skin is crumbling and that the lungs are giving up. The majority of my friends who is within certain speed, you know what, also mentions a couple of additions: that, to keep in force, its content based food for human flesh is slightly increased and that his left eye - for about twenty minutes - he lost material substance is transformed into a tangle of broken sounds.
For a few days living in the knowledge that, for the first time in my life, I'm killing a man. My head is a shake of guilt and delusions of omnipotence, so that not even understand how to best distinguish the two sensations.
I do not know how to move, what to do. A very human thought to have been a terrible mistake, that. Others, equally human, and much more bitch, but he believes that - if that is a minimum retribution - at least I should melt in the sun or explode in consecrated ground. Another part
still, very irrational and simian, is simply curious to know how it will end. I think that this will eventually follow. As usual.
However, I think, too, that keep everything inside will bear the worst damage possible. And my pink confident in this sort of thing is far from unlimited.
ends that me and Regina, on the balcony of his house, the computer is on our shoulders, in the kitchen. Winamp will not start by itself, playing a betrayal of the Joy Division. But she winces amused and launched anyway
Love Will Tear Us Apart .
It 's been a lot of time since we last met. The one where I kissed her. Days when we did not feel we have grown and the bramble of embarrassment that now unites us and stings.
you know? Think about how that, in some ways, it was the worst kiss in which I could perform. Fragile, fast, nervous. If you consider that I spend my days kissing people, you could grant me that I deserved more.
And the more I think about it, the more I feel unable to tell any one sentence, to initiate any conversation. I will just live the curse of the people who feel more distant: see the beauty could not happen to like never before. The little things, shake hands or arms to keep out the cold, the warm breath blowing away from his lips like cigarette smoke. The eyes that open on dark skin, embracing the dark.
E 'embarrassed as I am. One wonders why I have sought her own, and why she agreed to see me.
"You still Von Beck?" She asks after a while '.
"Because of the importance it may have. It seems to me that the idea of \u200b\u200bkilling Michael Jackson is a bit 'escaped my control"
"They have denied, I read it today. It seems very well is"
"And you believe?"
He shrugs. "I do not know. Maybe it's happening more violent version of what has happened to you. It's changing. ... A drastic change and if it is so painful, I could swear that he knows that someone wants to kill him. Maybe he does not know who you are, but what do you want to do so. The name change, transformation ... can not be explained otherwise "
nod, saying nothing. Just a sip the cup of instant coffee that I brought out.
"Are you afraid?", Then asks me with a strange sense of apprehension.
"I'm afraid you're not right. I'm afraid ..."
"... that certain things work, I am "she anticipates.
nodded again." But it's because some things work, that I do "
" I understand all too well, believe me, "she says, breath - for the first time in the evening - a smile on the cheek.
We are looking at. It 's ridiculous to think that we are really looking into the eyes just now, the beginning of the evening. Perhaps it is this sense of the ridiculous to gobble up the distance between us.
We smile at each other, in sync send down another sip of coffee and this time the smile tinkles with laughter itself.
remain silent and there to enjoy the right, coming back to stare at every now and staying in apnea words.
"I thought my friend."
"Who?" I asked Regina.
"Wait, you tell it well. You must know that there has been a summer where I worked in a charity flea market. It was run by the Franciscans, they made us move furniture and televisions across the courtyard of their convent
"I offend when I say that I do not give the impression of a person accustomed to toil?"
"No, you're right. In fact, to honor the brave brothers I drank bad before you start work, so that a bit drunk smaltisse 'fatigue'.
Queen shakes his head, resigned. "Go ahead."
"Well ... we were a lot of outside work, and in this pile, there was Julia. It seemed the traditional Irish type: you know, her hair a bit 'wavy, reddish, freckles and a little' pale. A few years older than me, which I usually stirs up a lot "
" Well, "said the Queen, entering for a moment to fill two cups of coffee.
Scotta, when he hands me mine. There is also a time when I wonder if it would make more sense talking inside the house.'s snowing outside, however, and the snow trumps all, when you see it against the lamplight. And when your friend, next door, leans his arms to catch a bow.
"Continue," he says Regina. Continuo.
"Well, Julia drew comics. He said he was spending hours, to do so. I've never seen anything her, but I had not the slightest doubt that she was a goddess of the pencil. I do not even know why. There are those who speak of their passion as fans who devote all. And only by virtue of this, do not you dare ever doubt that they are masters of "
" I type this, "she nods, with a smile that widens when finally able to catch a snowflake.
" At the time I drew myself. That is, I copied most of the bad shots, ass and anatomy. It was the time when I read of albetti
Sandman, Hellblazer
and
Devilman compulsively. As you can imagine, it was comic books that attack button with me and Julia. I do not remember Who began. We talked about stories in which we were passionate, committed people. She listened carefully, always gave the impression of considering all full of interest, whether they know it already or not. It's funny to think that, right now, can not remember at all what he liked her.
"You two would you go along, I think. Often take the bus, and hated the people who sat silent and clinging to the seat. I swear, I'm not making up: when did not make it any more. After first minutes of the trip, stood up and began to ask everyone what their favorite Chaplin film "
" You're right ... I would have liked a lot, "chuckles the Queen, smiling at me from behind rim cup of coffee.
"... I do not know if I had a crush. Sometimes I think I'm more in love now I can talk about that then. Then I considered neither a friend nor a possibility, but both of these things together. Someone you've found, here. Even if our hours spent together were only those of our work and talk only about those comics.
"Well, the summer ended. We lost touch, it was a bit 'from script. From here on, I do not know what happened, because all the things I know from here on out, come from stories I heard about.
"They said they had gone down to the head. At first, she was convinced to see the angels. To hear the voices.
"I think I would have believed even then. Besides, I thought to PK Dick when he said to see the Light Pink, or when Artaud wrote that entire areas of Paris traffic was blocked, to allow his enemies to curse at a distance . I believed a lot of dead people before me ... because I should not have to give credit to Julia? But, of course, I was there with her "Queen
me gets a little 'closer. "And those who stood beside him, who believed?"
"No. Well, I admit that it would take a mind a bit 'open. Portrait on the angels and said to be possessed by the devil. Then, again, took dancing angels and said that they were, to invasive. At the end put all agree and came up with the story that was possessed by fairies. The doctors filled with drugs and took off the thought. And she could no longer do without.
"I've never seen again. There was a time when I wrote that I wanted very well, for what little we had known. What could count on me for anything. I never said"
Queen remains silent, sipping coffee. It 'now close, very close.
"Do not get me wrong. I told you not because I fear that we will end up like this, or ..."
"... but only because sometimes you think it did not take much, maybe meet up now and not before, because her story ended well. And still other times, you fear that being happy is a matter of right hands at the right time
"Yes," I say. And I can not say more, because his voice choking me something before he can move forward.
Queen embraces me, holds me and I cling tight to her. I feel her breath on my neck, the string harder. She holds me stronger.
We detach only when we realize that my cup of coffee flew off the balcony.